2020 Elections: Key State Ballot Measures

2020 Elections: Key State Ballot Measures

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Walmart Debuts Membership Program To Compete With Amazon Prime

Election Almost Over

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With less than one week until polls close, the nation continued its sprint to finish one of the most contentious and exhausting elections in recent history...
Texas Voters Line Up To Shoot Ballots At Local Election Range

Texas Voters Line Up To Shoot Ballots At Local Election Range

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CANYON, TX—Loading their firearms with enough ammo to mark their preferred candidates for each race, Texas voters lined up to begin shooting their 2020 ballots at...
Fantasy Football Week 8: Start ’Em, Sit ’Em

Fantasy Football Week 8: Start ’Em, Sit ’Em

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NFL Week 8 is a time of introspection and reflection in the fantasy football world, a week where you look back on the mistakes of the...
Doctor Offers Crush Other Earpiece Of Stethoscope

Doctor Offers Crush Other Earpiece Of Stethoscope

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Man Relieved Movie Won’t Be Too Scary After Character Assures Friend There No Such Thing As Ghosts

Man Relieved Movie Won’t Be Too Scary After Character Assures Friend There No Such...

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MOBILE, AL—Pleased to have his concerns mitigated so early on, local man Sammy Althaus was reportedly relieved Thursday that the movie he was watching wouldn’t be...
Authorities Urge Orange County Residents To Stop Building Additions Onto Homes Currently On Fire

Authorities Urge Orange County Residents To Stop Building Additions Onto Homes Currently On Fire

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YORBA LINDA, CA—Asking the members of the wealthy local citizenry to put a brief pause on their construction projects, Orange County authorities reportedly urged residents Thursday...
Woman Heartbroken For All Shelter Pets Who Will Be Put Down Without Ever Being Dressed Like A Ghostbuster

Woman Heartbroken For All Shelter Pets Who Will Be Put Down Without Ever Being...

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CHICAGO—As she gazed into each kennel and let out a deep, regretful sigh, 31-year-old Chicago resident Lisa Kessler told reporters Thursday it broke her heart to...
9-Year-Old Sad That Father’s iPad Moving Out

9-Year-Old Sad That Father’s iPad Moving Out

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LA JOLLA, CA—His eyes flooding with tears as the full weight of the news sank in, local 9-year-old Taylor Warner announced Thursday that he was...
Aspiring Actor Considers Giving Up After Struggling To Break Into Steven Spielberg’s House

Aspiring Actor Considers Giving Up After Struggling To Break Into Steven Spielberg’s House

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LOS ANGELES—Complaining that successful entry was largely determined by nepotism, aspiring actor Xander Barrick confirmed Thursday he might give up on his dreams after struggling for...

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