FDA Delays Emergency Vaccine Approval Until They Finish Evaluating New Bagged Salad Kit

WASHINGTON—Clarifying that the federal agency would take a look at Pfizer’s submission eventually, the FDA announced Friday that it would delay the emergency coronavirus vaccine approval until they were finished evaluating a bagged salad kit. “We understand how important it is to get this vaccine to Americans as soon as possible, but we’re right in the middle of examining the ingredients of this Southwest chopped salad kit,” said FDA commissioner Stephen Hahn, noting that he thought it was even a little presumptuous for the pharmaceutical corporation to assume it could just jump the line over an equally important evaluation that would make sure American consumers were in fact getting the tangy chipotle ranch dressing, iceberg lettuce, savory tortilla strips, and zesty blend of Tex-Mex flavors that were labeled on the bag. “We’re only asking Pfizer to exercise a little patience while we determine that this chopped salad does indeed deliver the delicious spirit of the Southwest and contains no artificial ingredients or preservatives. After all, this salad has been in the FDA pipeline for two years. If we were to put off this study and turn our attention to the vaccine, we’d be putting millions of Americans’ healthy, quick to-go meal options at stake.” At press time, the FDA announced it would have to further delay the coronavirus vaccine approval after the agency received a top-priority request to review a new experimental Lunchables pack for emergency-use authorization.

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