Fed-Up Lifelong Conservative To Cast Vote For Biden, Family Member Inaccurately Reports

ATLANTA—Having lost all confidence in President Trump’s abilities, fed-up lifelong conservative Jerry Holden was planning on casting his vote for Joe Biden, family member Gina Rupert inaccurately reported Monday. “Dad has been a staunch Republican for over 40 years, but he’s sick and tired of Trump and finally said ‘Enough is enough’ [and whatever else he had to to get me and my liberal siblings off his back],” Rupert wrote in a viral social media post, which included a photo of her father smiling for the camera knowing he could now vote for his preferred candidate in peace. “He took one look at the state of things and declared, ‘I’m voting for Biden [if that will get you to shut up]. We’re really amazed. This is the first time he’s ever supported a Democrat. This really shows how people can change—and hopefully this country, too.” At press time, Holden had voted a straight Republican ticket.

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