Frustrated Habitat For Humanity Workers Forced To Shoo Jimmy Carter Out Of Yet Another House

ATLANTA—Expressing their revulsion at the extent of the infestation, frustrated Habitat for Humanity workers were forced to shoo Jimmy Carter out of yet another house, sources confirmed Monday “Oh God, it looks like he made himself a nest in the attic, which means he’s probably been up here for weeks,” said volunteer Deborah Phippin, using a broom to bat at the 96-year-old former president as he skittered hissing into a corner. “You might not know it to look at him, but he can be very wily, so you have to be careful not to let him escape further into the house. If things get really desperate, I might have to try baiting him into the yard with some peanuts.” At press time, Phippin conceded that at least Jimmy Carter was a harmless nuisance unlike some of the really pernicious pests they had to deal with at the Clinton Foundation

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