Goals Of Biden Administration Reviewing U.S. Supply Chains


Illustration for article titled Goals Of Biden Administration Reviewing U.S. Supply Chains

President Biden on Tuesday announced he will sign an executive order calling for a sweeping review of American supply chain infrastructure amid what many say is a growing crisis. The Onion looks at the goals of the Biden administration reviewing U.S. supply chains.

  • Update current supply chains with more modern supply chain problems.
  • Focus on increasing domestic production of four main goods: microprocessing chips, large capacity batteries, pharmaceuticals, and big-budget musicals.
  • Find ways to incentivize American children to rejoin labor force.
  • Look busy.
  • Limit reliance on foreign manufacturers by teaching American consumers how to make own laptops.
  • Convene nation’s top worrywarts to brainstorm list of every possible future national crisis.
  • Stop trading with countries engaging in horrific human rights violations unless they’re really good at making microchips.
  • Outsource supply chain review process to cheaper Taiwanese government agency.



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