LANSING, MI—In an effort to take decisive action against the rapid spread of the coronavirus, governors across the country called on Michigan governor Gretchen Whitmer this week to shut down their states this week so their residents won’t get mad at them. “It is long overdue that we buckle down and urge Gretchen to really do us a solid and tell our constituents that she would be instituting an across-the-board shutdown because, frankly, we’re scared of what they might do to us,” said Arizona governor Doug Ducey, echoing the statements from dozens of public officials across the political spectrum who urged Whitmer to stop tiptoeing around the issue and simply face the wrath of residents of Alaska, Idaho, Minnesota, and many more states after she advised them to avoid large gatherings and shelter in place for the foreseeable future. “We need to see real leadership from Governor Whitmer: She must tell our constituents in no uncertain terms that she will be restricting their liberties in order to fight this deadly virus and that we, their governors, had no part in making these decisions, so they should direct any of their hatred or violence toward the Michigan governor’s mansion. It’s just common sense. Besides, most of these people already hate her, so what’s there to worry about?” The governors also stressed that it would also really help them out if she told their state’s protesters and police departments to chill out, too.