Man Who Only Waited 15 Minutes To Vote Worried Experience Too Easy To Be Legitimate

ATHENS, GA—Growing increasingly suspicious as he reflected on the ease of casting his ballot, local man Andrew Perez told reporters Thursday that he worried only 15 minutes of waiting had meant his voting experience had been too easy to be legitimate. “Man, I was just in and out of the polling place in no time, so I don’t know if my ballot is even being counted,” said the visibly flustered Perez, who grew overcome with a sinking feeling after remarking that he failed to encounter a single obstacle at the ballot box. “Come to think of it, there were a lot of pretty sketchy signs—the place had plenty of ballots, they didn’t bother me about my driver’s license, the machine worked fine, and there were no poll watchers outside trying to hassle anyone. Also, the instructions on how to fill out the ballot itself the were clear and easy to follow. Jesus, what the fuck was wrong with this place?” At press time, Perez’s worries had been alleviated after receiving a letter saying his ballot had been rejected for being improperly filled out.

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