NASA Builds 4G Tower On Moon Tastefully Disguised As Pine Tree

WASHINGTON—Sharing impressive first images of the newly installed network, NASA officials confirmed Monday they had built a 4G tower on the moon tastefully disguised as a pine tree. “It’s a little taller than any other trees that would be growing on the moon, but we’re still confident it will blend right in,” said NASA administrator Jim Bridenstine, who explained the 150-foot cellular tower would aid the agency’s goal of establishing a sustained presence on the celestial body without compromising the lunar landscape’s natural beauty. “It’s as realistic as any conifer you could expect to see on a stroll across the moon. All those ugly antennae have been concealed by lifelike plastic branches and finely manicured acrylic pines needles. These professional designers are really good. It’s actually quite classy.” Bridenstine added the administration would also affix a replica bald eagle to the top of the tower to scare away pigeons.

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