Potential Outcomes For Ginsburg’s Vacant Supreme Court Seat

The passing of Supreme Court justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg has led to a flurry of speculation and controversy about what will happen with her seat so close to the presidential election and several key Senate elections. The Onion looks at potential outcomes for the late justice’s vacant Supreme Court seat.

Mitch McConnell breaks down in tears after finally realizing meaning of all-caps “MERRICK GARLAND” tweets.

Nation’s fast-food companies get to work scouting current Planned Parenthood locations for future franchises.

Senate Democrats convince Republicans to wait on nominating a replacement to see if Justice Ginsburg successfully recovers from her battle with death.

If the Senate confirms President Trump’s nominee but Joe Biden wins the election, Biden could retaliate by packing the court with elderly moderate justices.

While it strays from tradition, the Herman Miller Embody chair could offer unparalleled ergonomic support to the next justice.

To preserve Ginsburg’s legacy, her most influential decisions will be buried with her.

Nominees frantically crash-dieting after it’s discovered that Supreme Court precedent states a new justice must be able to fit into their predecessor’s robe.

America continues to lead all countries in Covid-19 deaths by a wide margin.

Democrats unveil a ruthless, take-no-prisoners fundraising email during the confirmation vote.

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